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Monthly Muse |
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June 2004 |
Volume 4 |
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Visit or write at: www.midwestnlp.com jim@midwestnlp.com Do you have an upcoming training event that you would like to include? Contact me at jim@midwestnlp.com to include yours! See the end of the newsletter for many local upcoming events! Use NLP presuppositions and learn how to enjoy every moment of every day! ·
All behavior is communication (i.e. an organism
cannot not communicate or respond). ·
The meaning of any communication is the response that it
elicits Feature Article-> “What does it matter how much we do if what we’re doing isn’t what matters most?” -Stephen R. Covey "Psychotherapeutic results are strikingly similar
regardless of the theoretical framework followed by each therapist; that the
personality of the therapist is more important than his adherence to a
particular school of thought." The medium carries the message. Noel Tyl “NLP…is the art and science of personal excellence. All life coaches should take personal responsibility for acquiring a sound knowledge of NLP basics.” -The Life Coaching Handbook -Curly Martin “The time that gets wasted is the time you don’t spend in each moment, experiencing and appreciating it for what it is.” -Barbara de Angelis Upcoming
NLP Trainings! -> Upcoming local events: Larry Garrett Hypnosis
open forum discussion, Sunday 6/6: 1pm. National Guild of
Hypnotists Monthly meeting: Tuesday 6/8: CCASTD Building your Business forum: Thursday, 6/10 Featuring Stephen Fairely! Go to http://www.ccastd.org/event-040610.html Toastmasters Coaches Elite,
Wednesday 6/9, Come as a guest! Coachville Study Group:
Tuesday, 6/15: 7-9pm. Contact: sandee@sandeeabern.com |
IN THIS EDITION! Introduction-Welcome Issue #4 What’s in a Name? Article: What’s the Difference that Makes the
Difference? Article: NLP, Coaching & More #1 Definitions: Perceptual
Filters More! Upcoming workshops and local
events! What’s in a
Name? Issue #4 Dear friends and associates, Welcome to newsletter
#4 and the renaming of the newsletter!
I have found myself writing on coaching, NLP and overall life
improvement issues, thus the change of name. The name muse, like news, comes
from the notion of thought, ideas and guiding principles to live by. From the pages of Webster’s Dictionary, are
2 definitions of muse: (1) a source of inspiration, especially guiding
genius and (2) a state of deep thought or dreamy abstraction. As
we all may know already, we create our own realities…thank you so much for sharing
some of mine! Let these words offer you some things to think on, some ideas
to ponder and, my hope, to be a source of inspiration for you. In this and
future monthly e-zines, I provide information and articles for those who enjoy
it; who want to improve their lives; who want increasing effectiveness in their
communication skills; those who enjoy NLP, and to those who want up to date information
of trainings and events industry and in the Chicagoland area. I am currently revising my mailing list and
by next month plan on adding the “opt in option” to this mailing. At any
time you choose to decline this or future newsletters, simply respond by
emailing me with the topic line- “unsubscribe”. For more information about NLP, please
visit my website at www.midwestnlp.com.
Please email with any and all comments and suggestions at jim@midwestnlp.com. Also, if you desire to include an article,
upcoming training information, comments or other NLP training information,
please let me know! This is our world,
lets all be a part of it! In this issue, I introduce some of you to the notion offered by the genius Gregory Bateson in “What’s the Difference that Makes the Difference?”. The next article asks a basic question in NLP and Coaching: What do you want? Then concluding with a definition of perceptual filters upcoming NLP Training, Coaching events and other events in the Chicagoland area. Enjoy and Be well! Jim Accetta What’s the Difference that Makes the Difference? What is the difference that makes the difference? What is that special sparkle in the eyes of the one you love, that lets you know that which you value so much? What is that special phone call that someone makes that brightens your day? What makes that statement stand out that affects you deeply? How is it that you know something is right, or that “something just clicks” in a relationship? How is it that some sales people, counselors, therapists, managers, and more continue to get results, time and time again? The phrase “the difference that makes the difference” is part of the “stuff” that NLP was derived from. “In the beginning”… there are many people who were “therapists” who had little effect in assisting there clients in change. However, there were a select few that repeatedly had dramatic change effects with their clients. These included Virginia Satir, Fritz Perls and Milton H. Erickson to name a few. The founders of NLP asked the question “what is the difference in what or how the ineffective and effective people operate?” Or what is the difference that makes the difference? They then studied how the effective people operate and created models of their behavior. These “differences” are much of the basics of NLP; the models that we have been learning; the stuff of how to be and act differently to be more effective; to get the results we want. Going back a bit further, the founders of NLP studied and knew a well known anthropologist by the name of Gregory Bateson. Many of his writings had to do with systems theory, cybernetics, epistemology and learning. In other words, how we learn and how we know what we know. In his book “Steps to an Ecology of Mind”, specifically in a chapter titled “Form, Substance and Difference” Bateson discusses “difference” as: “…a very peculiar and obscure concept…” “…in the world of communication, {changes} are brought about by differences…”, and as that which helps us distinguish a basic unit of information. The words on this page are “difference” in that the black is in contrast to the white paper. There is a difference that makes a difference, which helps to “create” information via our neural pathways. In reference to everyday life, one might ask: “what is the difference which creates or leads to the effects I want with people?” What is the difference that makes the difference with my family? With my children? With my staff? With prospects or customers? When we offer great, enthusiastic welcoming service; when we smile at a stranger, when we do something for a friend or associate that they don’t expect; when you act that certain way with your wife or children that clearly and absolutely communicates the love you have for them—that behavior that is “different” or stands out “makes the difference”. As all things, we must start with ourselves, and ask what needs to be true or congruent in ourselves for us to get the result we want. When assisting others in change work through NLP and when working with others as a life coach, any and all I do, that we do together has the potential to be the difference that makes the difference. It’s the knowing where, when and what to do that makes the difference. So, there you go. J What Do You Want? NLP, Coaching & More #1 What do you want? A simple question, as it may seem. Yet, a question not asked often enough in the lives of so many people. What do you want? A question that is common in both fields of NLP and of coaching. During session after session, both being the “coachee” and the coach, we come back to the question… “So, what do you want?” Our NLP outcome model also starts with the same question: What do you want, and then follows with: How will you know when you have it? When talking with friends, whether it be at a casual dinner or during coaching sessions, when asked, “what they want” this questions points people inward, answering quickly and sometimes with much thought—looking as if they were asked this for the first time in their life! NLP offers a model for communication and personal excellence that is unmatched. Coaching models, therapy and counseling models, business models all benefit from the presuppositions, models and techniques offered in NLP, let me offer the outcome model today. The outcome model focuses on goals, on what people want. How often have you asked yourself or others what they want, only to be offered the response of what they don’t want? Or perhaps offered a story about “things” and still not being quite clear on the answer of what they want? And of course, once you do get an answer, is it clear? Is it something achievable? The SMART model offered in many business and training arenas is a good start to the NLP outcome model. You recall, SMART is an acronym that represents: Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Realistic and Timely or Time bound. The outcome model offers ways to meet this, repeatedly. The outcome model also presupposes the importance of being goal oriented, very much like the presupposition I hold deeply: of living a purposeful life. The model is covered extensively in many early NLP Practitioner Trainings. The question “what do you want” points our brains in a particular direction. It is a much different question than “what’s wrong?” or “how do you feel?” questions too often asked in the helping professions; questions which point peoples brain in directions much less useful for forwarding action and achieving positive results. The outcome model does have its limits. Once you achieve your goal, then what? Let’s shift then to focusing on generative change and learning. Generative change creates a process and direction, rather than a “goal” “What do you want?”, although pointing us in a certain direction, has limits lie in its presupposition of permanency. Once you attain your outcome, are you done? I think not. It is my premise to point people in the direction they want to go, with the outcome in mind and then with the suggestion or question of “what else?” What are the possibilities? (Or what do you think is impossible, and what do needs to happen to make it possible!?) What is beyond your goals? What are your dreams and how do you live them today, tomorrow and all-ways? Well? (Look for next month’s part 2: NLP Meta-Patterns, Coaching and Training.) Definition: Perceptual Filters Perceptual filters are those
filters which aid in our living in the world, while at the same time limits
our perceptions and actions. To start with, our human biochemical filters:
our eyes, ears, skin, etc...That allows us to perceive the worlds as well as
filtering out other information. There
exits many “bands” that we cannot perceive, bands of light, sound, radio
waves, dog whistles, spectrums of light and color. Other perceptual filters
are those unique cultural experiences; our beliefs and language, etc… that
shape our model of the world. One cultural specific example is the story of
how an Eskimo has 20+ different names for snow. Other perceptual filters
include what is referred to as Meta Patterns, which include such “tendencies”
as enjoying choice or procedure, being motivated toward objectives, or to
avoid consequences. NLP offers a framework and models to understand others
perceptual filters. As professional communicators,
it is imperative that we understand these filters that allow us to speak the
language of our prospects, clients and customers, and thus become
irresistibly appealing. See more definitions at www.midwestnlp.com/definitions Upcoming NLP Trainings: What is NLP? *FREE INTRODUCTION* Wednesday, June 30th Become a part of a growing group of people who have
learned to take control over their own brain.
Enjoy the magic, come have some fun and learn the simplicity of
applying NLP principles in your daily life!
Learn about unconscious rapport and more! Communication Excellence: Get the
results you want! 5 evening seminar, Holiday
Inn, Monday Evenings 6-9pm: 7/12, 7/19, 8/2, 8/9, 8/23 *ANYONE CAN
LEARN TO BE MORE INFLUENTIAL* It all has to do with how we use our own brain—how we
connect our language, its how we use our verbal and non-verbal behavior, and
how you can increase your influence! Join and learn how to become exquisite in
your communication skills! Other Local Events! A night devoted to women's health
and healing @ Body Be Good, 862 N. Ashland Chicago 312/ 226-7128 Contact Sara Connell @ Saraeconnell@aol.com for more info CCA Monthly Meeting-The
Process of Coaching Saturday,
6/19: Wild
Oats Market, Contact
Michele Knight at mknight@mmkenterprises.com for more information. CCASTD Building Your
Business Forum-Secret Strategies of Highly Successful Coaches &
Consultants. Speaker: Stephen
Fairley Thursday,
June 10th Lunch Session: Location:
Dinner
Session: Time: Location:
Visit:
http://www.ccastd.org/event-040610.html for more information. |
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