|
|
Jim’s NLP Tips! |
|
|||||||||||||
|
March 2004 |
Volume 1, Number 1 |
||||||||||||||
|
Visit or write at: www.midwestnlp.com jim@midwestnlp.com Use NLP presuppositions and learn how to enjoy every moment
of every day! I believe it to be true when Abe Lincoln said: People are about as happy as they make up
their minds to be.” ·
Choice is better than no choice! ·
There is no failure, Only feedback. ·
The map is not the territory. The greatest tragedy is not death… but life without purpose. -Rick Warren Feature Article-> Do you have an upcoming training event that you would like to include? Contact me soon at jim@midwestnlp.com Learn more! Read on! Definition: A statement expressing the essential nature of something Learn how to point your brain in the direction you choose! |
IN THIS EDITION! Introduction-Do you want to subscribe? What is NLP? Article: What was it you want to say? Article: Perceptual Positions More: Definition Upcoming
workshops and trainings Introduction-Do you want to subscribe? Dear friends and associates, Welcome to my first e-zine! Thank you so much for using your time to read on. This information is for you; to offer the opportunity to increase your options, to offer the opportunity to open up your world to new possibilities; to offer an approach that will reduce the limitations you or others you know may have in their life; to move from a reactive to a proactive way of choosing the life you want to live. When I ask people “What do you want?” I am too often offered the response of what people don’t want… NLP is about possibilities—I offer you this and future newsletters to learn, to explore, to laugh and enjoy, and if only one or two new opportunities (or more) for you to live a happier, more joyful and more fulfilling life, each moment, of each day, everyday. In this and future monthly e-zines, I will be providing
information and articles for those who want to improve their communication
skills, learn more about NLP and to keep up to date with various trainings in
the industry. If at any time you
choose to decline this or future newsletters, simply respond by emailing me
with the topic line- “unsubscribe”. Please email with any and all comments and suggestions at jim@midwestnlp.com. Also, if you desire to include an article, comments or other NLP training information, please let me know! This is our world, lets all be a part of it! What is NLP? NLP (NeuroLinguistic Programming) has several definitions: it is an attitude, a methodology, an accelerated learning strategy, the most effective model for communication excellence that exists: it is excellence and magic in communications; a set of principles that opens up a universe of possibilities. NLP is a technology that began in the early 1970’s by two brilliant young men-John Grinder and Richard Bandler. A sometimes overlooked field, over the last 30 years NLP has slowly gained popularity in the fields of hypnosis, therapy, sales, customer service, business, management, leadership and more. It is time to bring NLP into the mainstream. My vision is to do just that: to bring NLP into the mainstream; in business, in service, and more importantly, to see NLP used in education of our teachers and then our children; to increase the use of modeling excellence in all fields, and to create a world in which people want to belong. What was it you meant to say? While presenting a workshop recently a participant asked, “What gives you the right to influence people that have not contracted to work with you?” Now, I was curious… I smiled, a bit taken aback by this question, asking myself “how can she not know?” Recently I was out with my
wife... we had a wonderful opportunity to be running errands together. One
errand was to renew our driver’s licenses.
Well, I’m sure you have had the experience of standing in long, slow
moving lines. In the state of Later, we went to the local
grocery store where we were assisted by a less than enthusiastic
deli-person. Linda turned to me and
said “…honey, will you help that person to feel better?” It is an
honor and a privilege that she asked me this small “favor”. Soon, perhaps she
too will realize that she can move people into more better experiences
(thanks for the phrase John!). Of course, with excitement and a smile, I
proceeded to lead this woman to talk about her heritage (Irish), her trips to
Such opportunities, every
day! I think now about how each person
we meet has an influence on us: when
we see our friends new baby, and the influence the new baby has on our state;
or the influence that a complaining co-worker or irate customer may have on
our state, the influence a particular person had on us when they helped us to
smile, and feel warm and content. In another example, I was lucky enough (funny how I have such opportunities every day?) recently to go to a bank where the teller was working, not smiling, and greeted me with a less than hearty... “Hello, can I help you.” Well, as you might imagine already, I could not let this go. Compelling as it was, I proceeded to chat with her, with a hearty “Hiiii”, bathing her in rich tonality. Then, asking a question I often hear myself asking like “…when do you start feeling reallllly goooood about being here today?”… “How are you? Fine you say?... and at what point do you let the rest of you know how you feel really good ?(downward inflection, of course)”… After I knew she was in a really good state, I bid my good-bye, leaving feeling very good myself that someone else was experiencing being in a better or more comfortable or happier place than before we met… (Isn’t one of the NLP presuppositions; to leave people in a better state than when you met them?) (Oh, and by the way, who thought of these presuppositions?). Two weeks later I revisited that same bank…lo and behold the same teller was there. I saw her, standing there looking bored with little affect and no smile… as soon as we made eye contact, her affect changed, color flooded her face and she gleamed with a large smile greeting me enthusiastically… I greeted her with a hearty hello, stating and asking (while knowing the answer) “… You remember me don’t you?”... To which she replied yes (with a huge smile) and we had another short chat. Now, I am in the sales and service industry. I perform in the roles of trainer, hypnotist, father, husband and service manager (to name a few)…, in essence a professional communicator. I meet new people every day… I chat with people I know everyday. Everyday we run into people we don’t know, and know. We see them, talk with them... and yes... everyday we influence them in one-way or another. When my workshop participant asks: What gives you the right to influence people that have not contracted to work with you?” I respond, as a professional communicator, what gives us the right to not be intentional in our communication? How much do we want to communicate or influence “by accident”? For those of us in the know, we know that we are always influencing others... and if you like me want to leave people in better states, to help them to get what they want out of life and feel better... Then, we must be intentional in order to achieve our goals! As professional communicators, should we not be response-able to be intentional in our communication? I believe that statement “one cannot, not communicate”. In that statement inherently is the presupposition that we will have some influence on another in our communication. So I ask... what response do you want to elicit? (By Jim Accetta; reprinted from September 2003 NLP Newsletter- go to www.purenlp for future newsletters from NLP Seminars International) Perceptual Positions A perceptual position is a particular perspective or point of view that a person perceives a situation or relationship from. A perceptual position is a phrase that refers to varying ways to perceive the world from the positions referred to as “1st Position or Self”, “2nd position or other” and “3rd Position or observer”. Skillful communicators are able to use multiple perspectives in communication interactions. First position involves experiencing the situation from your own perspective, seeing through your eyes, hearing through your ears and sensing and feeling through your own experience. When in first position, you will be in your own body position, using your own postures, using words like “I, me, myself” when referring to thoughts, feelings and ideas. First position is useful when thinking about your own goals, plans and interests, when you want to stand up for yourself, set limits or when you simply want to take care of yourself. Second position involves experiencing the situation as thought you were in “the other person’s shoes”. You see, hear and feel things from the other person in the interactions perspective. It’s as if you take on the characteristics of the other person, and perceive the situation or relationship as if you were they. From this position you will be disassociated from yourself and associated into the other person’s experience. Second position is useful when you want to understand another person’s perspective. Second position is also useful when you meet with confusion, hesitation, resistance or hostility, or whenever you don’t understand another person’s perspective. Second position aids in gaining rapport, understanding and empathy, sometimes simply by asking the question from the second position of “what must be true in order for this reaction or communication to exist”. Third position involves standing back as an observer, perceiving the situation of the self and the other from an observer position. In the third position, you take on the role of an outside observer, taking on neither the characteristics of the other person or people in the interaction, or that of yourself. It is like taking the position of a neutral observer of the interaction/s. Third position is useful when emotions run high as a way of calming down and gaining perspective. Observer position is also useful in gaining a perspective of the situation from a more objective place or view. The ability to take on various and multiple perspectives allows you, as a professional communicator to gain insight into the communication situation and the relationship/s that are not evident from your own perspective. As in so many other NLP techniques, taking on multiple perspectives allows one more options and more choices, leading to more flexibility, variety and influence in the communication transactions. References are provided for further reading. The Encyclopedia of Systemic NLP, Dilts, R. and DeLozier, J. 2000 Turtles All the Way Down, Grinder J, and DeLozier, J. 1987 Visionary Leadership, Dilts. R. 1996 Definition: Anchors Anchoring: “The process of associating an internal response with some external trigger (similar to classical conditioning) so that the response may by quickly, and sometimes covertly, reaccessed. Anchoring occurs every day in 1:1 interpersonal situations, families, groups, and through mass media. Learning NLP allows us to have more control over the anchors in our world, and ultimately how to be more effective in our communications with others. See more definitions at www.midwestnlp.com/definitions Jim’s Upcoming Trainings: What is NLP? Free introduction Wednesday, March 31st:
Communication Excellence: Get the
results you want! 5 evening seminar, Holiday
Inn, Monday Evenings 6-9pm: 4/19, 5/3, 5/17, 6/7, 6/21 Practitioner Certification Training: 8 day/4 evening Intensive: Intro Weekend: 4/24-4/25 All Weekends: 4/24-4/25, 6/5-6/6, 7/17-7/18, 8/21-8/22 Other
Trainings:
|
||||||||||||||
